The Wisdom of Cosmopolitan

Alright so, totally gotta stop this. 3 posts in one day...fail. That's what happens though when you're in the house all day bored and perusing the web.

So looking at a variety of articles on the Cosmopolitan website.....one such article says:

"Women get serious when they meet the right man. Men get serious with whomever we happen to be dating when we're finally ready to settle down."

--- How depressing is that?!? That is the least helpful bit of advice ever!

Additionally con mi mama we're looking at Cosmo's eligible bachelors of 2009....only 4 of 52 were remotely attractive btw...and yeah...mama's sayin' crap about other articles that are on here about how to successfully get to a second date and all that jazz and we notice that the guys in the round-up have their emails listed...and I could feel this dark....well mildly gray cloud..... rise over me. 1) why should I read an article about successfully procuring a second date when I can't even manage to get a 1st....and 2) if they're email addresses are included and they look as fierce as they do...I'm sure they have like 15-thousand of chicks hitting them up and I'm probably not a prime contender....

ok pause. that really makes it sound like I am low in the self-esteem area...me writing, hearing and re-reading that says, "self, you sound down about you." Well I'm not...I'm a solid 6-7 on a 10 scale...and when I wanna be, I am a friggin' 8.8. But I do know dudes...and especially after reading all these articles in the Cosmos and the Glamours...and even in books (e.g. He's just not that into you)...a key part of dating unfortunately is sex. "52% of American men say that good, regular sex is crucial in a relationship." Sex.....and that with me, right now, just ain't gonna happen. And an additional unfortune is that that's generally a turn off for the typical 25-27 year old guy...who is definitely what I'm shopping for. arrrggg....Just in conversation with my guy friends, and even some of my girl friends...they think it's absurd to go without....and even though I'm not sayin' without forever, just without until marriage....for most everyone I speak with that seems like FOREVER (in all caps) to them. Yet another wrench in my dating plans....

continue...actually no...I shan't....I'm gonna for real go and watch a movie. Get in the bed. Bundled under my snuggie. With my teddy. bear that is.

Cashier at Whole Foods was named Mario...

I just took this quiz on cosmo.com "Are you obsessed with your ex?"...It says I am "secretly obsessed"......sad thing is I can't argue. The word 'obsessed' i'd change to something milder, but overall it's fairly accurate. And it freakin' sucks. This coming March it will have been 2 years since the demise of the Mario & Ebonii show. I should be totally good and completely in a new phase of life or whatever. But definitely, not am I. I will say I am good in the sense that I don't cry about anything and I don't get all angry when I hear his name or anything like that. But I do get really nostalgic about really small things. Like something I see something or read or hear something that I know he'd appreciate and I can't tell him. Or there have been a couple of times where things have happened in our time apart and he's the first person I want to tell. And I can't. It's so wack. I want for this to go away. I want not to still care for him as I do, since I know he's moved on and is probably, definitely harboring no warm feelings towards me. Ugh...it's times like these when I wish death upon my thoughts. I want not to care...and unfortunately my favorite pasttimes don't help the cause. I absolutely love me some romantic comedies and to top it off the genre of book I like is Women's Fiction (aka ChickLit). The books are wondermously fantabulous. And while I shouldn't, I have totally had either dreams or daydreams or just random day-scapes/day-pisodes where something miraculous came over him and he returned to me in the most romantic of ways, something in like a reenactment of one of my favorite scenes in a romantic comedy...or something that remotely involves dancing.

It's amazing how I'm essentially devoting an entire entry in my blog to him, and I doubt he ever even thinks of me. What is wrong with me?!? I need to watch a movie that always makes everything better.....Wedding Planner Anyone?!? -- I know...makes no sense...oh, but it does.

The Soloist

So...I'm 24. I'm in love with love, and I can't find it at all. I was lucky once and unfortunately that ended poorly. So, I'm back to being me. There's nothing wrong with flying solo with myself. I mean I'm a great catch. I'm funny and fun-loving. So it's great, but goodness gracious I'm totally ready (at least I think so) to find my Mister. Now do I wanna get married tomorrow, heck no, I have other things to accomplish, but I would like to begin cultivating a life-long relationship that really just lights up my life like my bffs do, but with that additional spark that you can only get from a romantic relationship.

I guess with this blog I'll just chronicle the pathetic-ness that is my love life. I'm really afraid to "put myself out there" whatever that means. I'm not forward and I am a fail in general at engaging the opposite sex. The opposite sex that I am remotely physically attracted to. I lose my words and I just look stupid. It's quite sad and depressing.

What's going on in my life right now?!? Once definitely had a huge crush on my boss. It has been rectified on the count of 1) he's my boss, and 2) he's now dating one of my classmates.... Apparently there's a guy at church that "checks me out". The past two Sundays my mother and cousin have brought to my attention a gentleman who looks at me post-service. Brittanie said that he's a youth minister and he speaks to the college-bound seniors about that journey. Presently I have no name, and no real stats other than he's in grad school. So...that is all.