Seriously, this is a question I desparately need answered. I'm a giant ball of thoughts and emotions and highs and lows and everything elses...I don't know what to do with any of it. I wish I knew what I'm supposed to be doing with my right now. Should I be doing what I'm doing right now? Is this a test? If so, am I failing it? Why? That's the biggest question...I welcome the present...but why now? What is this? Am I going to serioulsy regret this later? When is later? Ah!
Saw the Back-up Plan. Twice now. And every time it gets to the end where Jen tells the guy that he needs to leave I can't help but see myself in that movie. The tactic she used was one I myself used too...but the different between her guy and mine is that he actually wanted to stay and mine did not. I don't know how not to freak out though...I don't know how to trust people really...I don't know how to do that...and I was hoping that I was getting practice with this new batch of people I'm surrounded by...new people to be potentially friends and I need to trust them right...but I'm in the same position as I've been in. I can't say that I trust most of them with my me...my full me that is. I feel like they're selfish ad they won't care for the things I give them as though they were their own. And if I see that in a person, why would I willingly give them such precious gifts? Would that not be beyond idiotic?!?
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